Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I'm not expecting anyone to read this, so I'll consider this my own personal diary.

I've come to a point where I think I'm becoming bitter towards certain people, and quite honestly I'm fine with it. I hate the fact however that if the people who knew the truth about themselves would cease to be friends with the person that told them more often than not.

Now I know there is a huge debate in that short sentence. In this example, I have a friend who makes every single possible aspect of his life, and the lives of everyone around him if possible, about him! Also, he makes everything so much more complicated than it has to be. He also has to be the center/leader of gathering of any sort, even if that gathering contains only two people. It bothers me so much. Why can't someone just let things be the way they are without having to put in their two cents? Just shut up and sit back for once in your life, and stop taking EVERYTHING personally.

I realize that some might be inclined to say that he might be able to take criticism from a true friend, or a true friend would bring up things in a loving fashion, or some might go so far to say that these issues are not his problem in fact but my own and that I should look on the inside and see my own faults. I do. I know I'm a piece of crap with faults and selfish desires. I'm not talking about me.

So how does one know when this type of problem is belonging to them rather than the person they are bothered by? And is it wrong to be bothered by them?

Some might say, "Oh that's just them and you should get over it." I completely disagree. Just because someone is a jerk all the time, so that's "just how they are," doesn't mean it's ok. It's not an excuse. More often than not every time I've brought this up to someone, I'm told to just let it go that's just how they are. That is a huge load of crap.

Now I agree, people have their quirks and what have you, but still. You shouldn't be allowed to go through life making those around you miserable just because you don't have enough common courtesy to actually consider the feelings of the people around you. But I digress.

Some might also say that I might be jealous because he is getting attention and I am not. Ten years ago when I was in high school that would have been true. To an extent to this day I'm sure there might be even a little truth in it. But I've also learned that the world doesn't revolve around me, nor does anyone truly give a crap about what I have to say, so I have learned to sit in a group of people and just shut the F up and listen, and not dictate the conversation, and/or make every detail of someone else's story a metaphor for some deeper meaning.

Another example. If you want to change something about yourself for your betterment or well being, great. But everyone knows when someone is doing something so that someone else will think he is a great person, and person to aspire to. Dude, do your thing because you want/need to, not so that you'll look better in the eyes of others.

But, because I know this person is never going to change, then I am perfectly comfortable in my dislike of pretty much everything they do. Do I have my own faults? Of course. Are there people who really dislike me and probably feel the same way about me that I do about the aforementioned party? Probably. But hey, it's just how I am. Deal with it.